"We love the 80s." No, it's just that your target audience can't remember the 80s. There's a difference. Anyhow, thanks to you and your glorification of the Reagan area, fugly is officially the new trendy. See the following evidence found on Lane Bryant's website:
This reminds me of the wallpaper of a smoke-laden pizza parlor circa 1983:
Ooh let's get wild and crazy and sexxxxxxxxxxxeeeeeee...ugh:
Remember when it was trendy to dress like a member of a really dorky marching band?
Is that a Sears poncho?
I am pretty sure my mom wore this to a job interview in 1986:
My dad probably would have bought this for her in 1985...and then it would have sat in her closet becoming moldy until they transferred it into the storage abyss in my brother's room:
And probably they would have bought this for me when I was about 8, thinking it looked "so neat" and "Russian":
Come on VH1, what is there to glorify about the decade that inspired this?
Finally I bring you the inexplicable.
You know, Lane Bryant is for plus sized ladies. Not that these shirts would look good on anyone, but do you really think women trying to flatter a rounder belly want to be wearing cropped sweater vests over XXXXXXXXXL rayon tents?
Last but not least, I bring you...
The overbra. For when underwear isn't all that's there. For when you are afraid of nipple-attacking birds of prey. For when you want to look like a halfassed "dykes on bikes" wannabe. For when just wearing a shirt just won't cut it.
And it's acid washed. Damn you, 80sphiles.